Someone new on my msn list had this in their msn nick "I am ENTP, look up google! hahaha..."
And so I did. I googled it, read through some descriptions on Wikipedia (absolutely luv Wiki) and found out the term ENTP is actually used to describe a type of personality. The personality test is named Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and serves to allow anyone to fall under 16 types of personalities.
Going by just 4 very simple questions for the indicator at http://www.myersbriggs.org/, most likely I fall under INTP which had this personality type:
Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical.
That is quite right I guess, although this test should be only about 75% accurate. So which type are you? And do you think your type is accurate?
I finally realized what I need this blog for. For voicing myself when nobody seems to care or bothers to talk. I need some music to soothe my soul. I haven't sang for a very long time, it is one of the best avenues for me to release myself. Music to shake off those stress, those headaches, the tiredness, the feeling of on the verge of tears.
Music on now: (Not expecting everyone to be a fan of hers here, neither am I. But she's so gorgeous in this vid.)
Look around everywhere you turn is heartache It's everywhere that you go (look around) You try everything you can to escape The pain of life that you know (life that you know)
When all else fails and you long to be Something better than you are today I know a place where you can get away It's called a dance floor, and here's what it's for, so
While chatting with this girl on msn (okay, I won't mention your name here lol!), suddenly remembered that there was this Games Convention at Suntec, a week after Comex. Happy that I have an idea of where to go after work on Friday (Sg is damn boring), I trotted down there very eager to see what kinda games / competitions were on display.
Well, the event was kinda small to my dismay, and it was kinda quiet (you mean nobody goes for such things after work on a Friday??). The number of games being sold were also quite limited. There were the few online game providers, Asiasoft kinda left out of this one. Maybe they were already earning that much and didn't wanna spend any more on marketing events like these. Afterall, they already have quite a few of the most popular online games in town: Maple, Audi, WOW and what have you.
So the few there whom actually appeared were notably IAHgames which is pretty huge there. (I could tell their business is getting bigger, since initially they only started with Granado Espada, yet now they're providing so many other online games.) I remembered a few weeks ago, a new guy at my co mentioned he was from IAHgames. I had no idea why he actually came over. If it was me, I would probably stay at IAHgames, its much more fun!
Ok, so the usual stint for IAHgames is to create some "quest" for visitors to collect this and that. Why do I know that? I think 2 years ago I actually went alone to this Granado Espada official launch thingy. The only reasons why i did that were: I actually played GE when it was still F2P, and the creator was Hakku Kim, the same for Ragnarok Online. Later on, GE decided to be P2P, which lead to me leaving the game (don't really want to spend any money on any online games). Probably due to that, much of the population left the game, which led to them making the game F2P again. (Phew, long explanation.)
2 years back at that GE event at Zouk, there was this quest where you had to gather 2 or 3 friends to form a party to play. I tried to ask if I could participate even without a party, the answer was "no". I was thinking, how inflexible. =p But anyhow, this time during the GCA, I could play the game / quest! One thing that really kinda baffles me is that all the "Game Masters" were young girls, dressed up in their costumes cosplaying as the game characters. But where are the guys man? =.= C'mon IAH, not only guys play games ok? Well, not that I have anything against the girls, some are really nice (oh yah, so nice that I see a bunch of boys happily taking photos together with the girls lol! Can you blame em?) But I really disliked it when I get the "who the heck cares about you old bitch?" look from some of them. Sigh. So IAH, pleaseeeeeee..... next time, bring the guys who don't mind tending to ugly, old ladies like myself.... please! XD *hear my rant* Well, I nearly could bring that idea up to one of the old uncle staff (wearing normal office clothes, and looking suspiciously like a management from IAH), since he actually asked if I managed to collect all the quest stamps at each of the 4 stations. (Damned, maybe next time I could post this suggestion to them.) Talking about the "WHAT? ARE YOU SURE YOU GAME????!" look, I got kinda annoyed when this Sony Vaio Salesguy at Comex casted me that remark and dirty look while i was telling him my usual requirements for a Laptop. What? So girls can't game? What a look-down! He probably needs a female to trash his arse at some CS game or something. =p oops.
HighStreet5 were there too, lol! I won't mention names here, but it was quite fruitful because I got to saw 3 HS5 online friends. Yup, 2 gals, 1 guy. And it was quite eventful. There were 4 CPU stations for people to try out the game. After I've approached the guy to obtain the latest installation DVD for the game, I tried playing on 1 of the station (yes, it was that QUIET.) The character is very nice, yellow butterfly wings, which I'll never get in the game even if I continued playing, a hood and pole-dancing skills, lol! The condition of the keyboard was actually quite bad. But somehow, eventually i managed to top all the other players at the game stall. The guy standing next to me was very frustrated that he lost, initially I didn't notice him at all, until he was doing all sorts of big actions after losing (like wanting to tear his hair out, or stomping his feet?) Okay, eat your heart out red t-shirt boy, you still lost to me! Muahaha! (Oops, please don't mind my bragging here my dear friend. I will never be able to win you in HS5 hehe! You know who u are!).
I reinstalled the game last saturday afternoon and played awhile, but I was lagging so bad (dumb SN 1Mbps ADSL) and kept getting disconnected. Ironically, this other player in game introduced me to another dancing game: STEPS. Frustrated I couldn't play HS5 properly, I uninstalled it and downloaded STEPS. STEPS was only slightly better than HS5 in terms of the lag, but still lagging. The songs are quite limited, which I don't know if that is because I'm still like only level 2 in the game. The characters are much more anime-ish, and seem kinda like Audi, only much more like those Taiwanese flashy games.
So today, a friend told me how to resolve the lag problem in HS5. Should I uninstall STEPS and reinstall HS5 using that resolution to see if it works for me? =\ But then again, no more friends in that game to play with that its gonna be boringggg..... *shakes head*
Ouch! Naw.... don't want anything to be tearing up my heart! lol, new song added because Stella said my music is too rock for her! Ironically, my msn nick states "Emo, I need some rock." So there, a song from HighStreet5, but I chose an old song which I always enjoyed listening and singing my lungs out to, in the emo, "gek"-faced expression. Drama mama! =p Afternote: Wasn't able to upload the N'sync song! :( Hopefully can upload when I get home. The most probably "thing" that would cause me to tear my heart up now in my life would only be work and some sickening peeps in the office. Never fails to get me wondering, if I should do a dangerous move, such as quitting the job and start looking elsewhere without a backup.
So recently I've borrowed some books from SengKang Library. (Was there last Sunday for the Gundam Fair.) I have not done that for a really long time, and I managed to get a "self-help" book titled "The Bitch At Work". Hmm, interesting. Couldn't resist getting my hands on that book. Have only read up to page 93 of the book, and so far, the author had been giving some "rules" and "concepts" of being TBAW. In the book, she explained the definition of "Toxic Niceness". Which made me realize is something I must must must get rid of. Not that I do not enjoy being nice to anyone, but Toxic Niceness is actually a type of niceness to people, which makes it easy for them to walk all over you, and allows yourself to be taken advantage of by others. The author also taught about the "Inner Bitch" in every woman. The Inner Bitch is someone who knows what to say or do, or are just not afraid of expressing their unhappiness or anything that bothered them to anyone, ranging from bosses to husbands.
So, I've been wondering, where have my Inner Bitch gone to? I know I was one in my previous job (lol, I think some of the attachment boys can affirm to that. Miraculously, Mark who is 1 of my attachment boys actually told me recently that he has a nice Team Lead lady for a boss, someone as nice as me.) My previous boss definitely knows I was one. Somehow, sometimes I think he was glad I was one. Being a TBAW definitely has it's pros, sometimes it gets things moving. Instead of everyone just fakingly putting on a smile here and there and pretending nothing is wrong.
So why am I now someone plagued by the Toxic Niceness, instead of still being TBAW? What is here in this job that I'm afraid to voice my opinions and unhappiness? Is it the experience or the amount of time I have in this job? I probably feel I'm not "old-bird" enough to be saying anything. Or maybe I just don't care enough about the work here, that I can't even be bothered to be TBAW. Although, recently I do find myself trying to, and increasingly so, because the thing I hate the most is getting taken advantage of by others unwillingly. And being so unhappy that i always end up singing songs like JT's "What goes around comes around" now with even more heart and soul than I ever did, haha!
The book is interesting in the sense that the author gives alot of examples to explain some of her concepts. The examples are funny, and sometimes make me feel i'm just reading a storybook. But sometimes the examples can be too much, to the point that you'll be taking away the stories, instead of the concepts behind the stories. Anyways, I hope the book will teach me more about being in control of my work life, so that I don't always feel too unhappy. I know I need this book because many people have already been telling me so (yes, it must be that bad.) So til I've officially regained the title of TBAW! ;)
P.S. Never seen someone so excited to be a b***h before lol!
And so I was bored and started searching online for some PSP games to play on my way to and from work. PSP Pangya is quite a recent game and its got very good reviews online. The overall graphics also look too cute for me to pass up. So I managed to install it and got hooked! I'm still playing the story line mode, and I love it! The characters are sweet (Fried chicken, cheesecake & potato cake anyone?) and anime-ish. Even the "bad guys" in the story are too cool to dislike.
Maybe I'm just lousy, but I'm currently still stuck in Episode 2, character "Hana". Out of all the storymode characters, my favourite are still Cien and Kaz (Yes, I like cool bad guys with a very emo background story.) Cecilia and her "rounds" with the beer-bellied police uncle and Max are also interesting. Arin's crush on Max is so girlish =p but I really like the sweet happenings between the side characters (caddys like Quma and Tiki). Sometimes some stages can be quite frustrating, especially when you lose just by a little bit, and have to replay all 6 rounds of the contest.
So imagine my surprise when I found out a number of you are playing Pangya on PSP as well! (Yes, Xav and ZR!) =p Guess Singapore is too small and it is easy to find that your friends are doing the same things as you do. But then again, sometimes I feel quite embarrassed playing the game on the MRT on the way to work and back. I could feel cold stares, either from others who might be thinking "This woman is at what age? And still playing on PSP! Goodness!" or from guys who "Hey, that game looks interesting!". There was once I entered the MRT and moved right into the area linking 2 cabins together. I almost wanted to give that part of the train a nickname: "Mobile Gaming Area". Was giggling in my heart, because almost everyone standing in that area with their backs to the wall are playing on their PSPs or DS Lites.
God knows what happened to the online Pangya account which I had about 4 years back? No idea what happened to the online Pangya hosted by Asiasoft as well. (Maybe I can see some updates from Xav's blog.) I want to quickly finish playing Pangya (and know the story along the way) before I can start installing and playing DJ Max Black Square (due to the space constraints of the PSP memory card. But before that, I have to find out how to do that "cheater-bug" move of hole-in-one in Pangya!! XD
I haven't been blogging as much as I would like again..... Don't know if it was just me trying to focus on enjoying more of my life besides work. Or just too many commitments / responsibilities, which totally sucked all the energy out of me haha!
Nowadays, I would feel so tired by as early as 9pm, and totally become a dead log throughout the night. Funny thing is, after all that, I still don't even feel recharged or refreshed. My weekend nights, woah, even more exaggerating. I can sleep for like 12 hours from midnight to 12pm the next day and still feel that sleep is not enough. Gosh, need some way to get rid of all these lethargic-ness before I actually sleep through my weekends every time. Funny how I used to feel that sleeping is a waste of my time in my younger days XD
Quite a number of happenings going on for the past month or so. Celebrated my "bird-day", by going to NTUC and shopping like an auntie for food. Then preparing the food for the BBQ in the afternoon, before BBQ-ing (at a cost of a table) with my family. Yeah, we were quite lucky that the table didn't caught fire. But there is an ugly black burnt gash on the table now, like part of "Deep Inferno" in Pangya. Thankfully, the table wasn't an expensive one, just a make-shift foldable table used outdoors.
Then, about 2 weeks ago, my grandmother woke up early on a Saturday morning, fell and hit her head against one of those tiled corners of the wall on the floor. She had a big big gash on her head, and was bleeding. I literally had a shock when suddenly I got woken up, and saw her crying in pain. It was quite serious, considering it involved a fall on the head and blood. So I drove her, my mum and my aunt to Tan Tock Seng Hospital's A&E immediately. Only 1 other person was allowed into the A&E area with my grandma, so the rest of us waited outside the ward. It was a long gruelling wait for more than 6 hours. She had 6 stitches on her head to sew up the wound, and she was brought to do some x-rays and scans. She looked really tired out when she got pushed out on the medical bed to another department to do the x-ray. My heart really went out to her :( moreover she's my grandma (whom I bear striking resemblance to in terms of looks and character) Thankfully, she is discharged from hospital already. In fact, this morning she had to go to a polyclinic to remove the stitches. I never want to go through that again and pray that she doesn't suffer so much, since she's already so old at 90 years of age. I hope she recovers soon and stays happy!
