Heartbreaker (11th Nov)

Where do you draw the fine, thin line, between online and reality? Or is it so fine that there is no point in drawing any lines anyway. Should I even be thinking so much? Probably in the end, it is all for nothing.

Should I just take things as they come? At a slow stride? I'm so confused, I don't know what to think anymore.... for the entire day, I don't know why my heart aches so much. It was so painful. So painful but yet I'm so addicted to listening to heartbreaking songs like "Heartbreaker", "Abracadabra" and "Again & Again". 2PM's songs were especially painful to listen to, I don't know why either. Recently I kept on repeating these few catchy, jumpy Korean songs, and feel my own heart beating along fast with them.

(Continued on 26th Nov:) I was so into 2PM for the past few weeks. Kept listening to their songs wherever I go. I created a very short playlist in my phone titled "ache". LOL, cos listening to those songs really made me feel the heartache. Love their MTVs as well, the dancing is so nice~ My own nicknames for the 7 of them:

1) Jaebom aka Jay: Leader
2) Chansung: General Hwang
3) Junsu: Birthday Boy
4) Taecyeon: Director
5) Nickhun: Thai Prince
6) Wooyung: Mean Boy (who don't say what he means)
7) Junho: Angel Loser (who don't gets to be with any girl)

Heartbeat


Again & Again

Elitism

1. The belief that certain persons or members of certain classes or groups deserve favored treatment by virtue of their perceived superiority, as in intellect, social status, or financial resources.

2a. The sense of entitlement enjoyed by such a group or class.
2b. Control, rule, or domination by such a group or class.

I'm sure many who play online games are familiar with this term. Are you? Frankly speaking, not only gamers behave this way, but even people in real-life behave this way sometimes. Otherwise how would we get those unreasonable customers, who thinks they are the cream of the crop and therefore deserves nothing but the best, while the rest of the population "deserves" the "lousier" things in life?

In every game, I'm sure there is always that bunch, who thinks very highly of themselves. You know what I mean: that bunch that always keeps to their own clique only, who do not bother to talk or stand near to you because of your noobish-looking character, because you're new in the game, because you're not one of those influential peeps or have friends who are influential, because you're not seen as "hip" or "powerful" enough. So they just ignore you, (be glad if they are even willing to talk to you), "dump" you to one-side or just treat you as if you ate glass while growing up (i.e. transparent). Its quite saddening when elitists are that powerful, that they can even threaten someone else due to their status in-game "if you want to continue playing this game, then you better watch out......"

So what happens then? Just ignore these people and play the game enjoyably (if you can take it). But sometimes it is hard to continue without any friends to play and chat with, talk rubbish to or just joke around. And that, is almost always the reason, why games come to be stagnant after some time. Nobody new joins the game because there are no other friends to be made, the regulars are unfriendly (and friendly only amongst themselves) and the loneliness gets so boring.

Sometimes its all too sad and hurtful, even for myself to take. As much as I want to be thick-skinned, or be more patient for me to "get to know" or wait for others to "warm up to me". For most females, the most hurtful someone else can do to them, is to exclude them from a group. To not allow them to have a sense of belonging. I've experienced that a few times myself in life. I guess I have never been much of a social person, as much as I wanna be, otherwise I would have like dozens of friends or acquitances by now. Someone asked me recently, "How come you don't have much friends? You dao (snobbish) izzit?" I don't think so. Or I hope to think that the opposite is true.

I wonder how long more I need to persevere, in order to see the light at the end of the tunnel. How much longer should I wait? Or should I just jump to somewhere my company is much more enjoyed and appreciated? And how would I know whether I'm much more appreciated there? Perhaps happiness is the key. When I'm happy, I know at least I've got somethings right.....

Flirting: how much is too much?

Today came across an article online, written by Sumiko from SPH on the aspects on how flirting is dangerous. (http://www.divaasia.com/article/5437)

Flirting, how much is too much? I often wonder. Especially so with all the e-drama in HS5 recently, (I won't mention names) there's a girl in-game who got cuss-ed and swear-ed at with vulgarities by some guys and girls. I don't know the actual degree behind how bad the mistake was that she committed, but I think it definitely does not deserve such public embarrassment. (C'mon nobody does.)

But again, this is a very subjective topic, depending on each individual. I would like to bring your attention to 2 paragraphs in the article:

It's harmless flirting and makes for a bit of silliness. We aren't in the least bit attracted to each other and I'm sure he uses that line on other female customers as a sales ploy. Still, I was flattered by that playful remark. It brightened my day.

Flirtation on this level is just a bit of fun. You would have to be really insecure or a killjoy to be offended by an exchange like this.

and I FULLY agree with this. I guess that girl in guild who took it out on me about teasing someone else is a "bad boy" because he always "flirts", is feeling really insecure. Oh please, ANYone would know I was just joking. The conversation went like this:

Her: What's wrong with flirting? Flirting doesn't mean the person is bad!
Me: I was just joking.
Her: Better be.

Wow, talk about having this elitism-attitude which I absolutely despise. But I will touch on that topic in another post. Ironically, this girl was the same one who after a few days, started to lash out on another girl for being a FLIRT.

Her: You stay away from my hubby you biatch~! Nobody likes you! Nobody likes all your flirtings like you think they do~!

Okay, I was exaggerating the "e-voice" acting. LOL! But isn't that just such a whiner? Goodness, she should just get her act together and stop being someone with double-standed values. 1 day she tells people off for joking "flirts" are "bad" people. And the other she takes it out on this other person who flirts alot with others. This person definitely have some issues.

Of cos, everyone can have different opinions on where they are comfortable with the line being drawn. But trying to enforce your own opinions on others, is where the line is really being crossed, by being a tyrant. And that to me, is something far worse than just a mere flirt.

Memories Reflash

HS5 SG server.... Here's a walk in memory lane. Still hoping this time I won't "quit" the game so soon. ^^ Er, enjoy the slideshow with those comments!

Marry Me Pls, Funny People

That coming from Dai Gor, on a friday.... really made my day! LOL! Dai gor, you're so funny!
The epic joke of the day, from Mark Big Bro to cheer me up. Thanks, I appreciate it and feel honored!

Kinda reminds me of the movie which I just caught yesterday... "Funny People". Its like one of those lines in the movie, which the comedian actors come up with to talk on their show. The movie was funny for the first hour or so, afterwhich I don't really know which parts to laugh or cry about XD Parts of the storyline weren't so funny to me.... having leukemia / cancer, getting divorced... =x not very funny topics hurhur.

Anyways TGIF, hope today is not as moody as the past few Fridays I've been having....

Lil Star

There is nothing special about me
I am just a lil star
If it seems like I'm shining
It's probably a reflection of something you already are
I forget about myself sometime
When there's so many others around
When deep inside you feel the darkest
That is where I can always be found
That is where I can always be found
That is where I can always be found

Just keep trying and trying
It's just a matter of timing
Though the grinding is tiring
Don't let 'em stop you from smiling
Just keep trying and trying
Sooner or later you'll find it
It's surprising how inspiring
It is to see you shining
Cause in the dark of the night you're all i can see
and you sure look like a star to me

There is nothing special about me
I am just a lil star
If you try to reach out an touch me
you'll see that I'm not really that far
I may not be the brightest nor am I the last one you’ll see
But as long as you notice, that’s just fine with me
Everything’s just fine with me
Everything’s just fine with me

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs

Finally this movie is released! I was late for about 10 mins into the movie, so I've missed the front portion of it. Although the plot is really simple and predictable, I really like the animation style and cute, sweet conclusions to the story.

If food started raining down my town, which food would I order? Hmmmm, pancakes with butter and maple syrup like the pic below? *getting hungry thinking about it* lol!

Which type of food would you order? Sushi? =p If anything, it should be something which you will never EVER get sick of eating right? *thinking of cheesecake & coffee*

Btw, if price of movie tickets is something you would think twice about spending your money on, then do catch the movie only on weekdays (non-3D). Because a ticket to the 3D version would cost about 50% more, and yet the movie only runs for about slightly more than an hour.

That said, I have not eaten some of the food which appeared in the movie for a very long time.... for example, steak, meatballs and yes, gummy bears! ^__^

Which type are you?

Someone new on my msn list had this in their msn nick "I am ENTP, look up google! hahaha..."

And so I did. I googled it, read through some descriptions on Wikipedia (absolutely luv Wiki) and found out the term ENTP is actually used to describe a type of personality. The personality test is named Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and serves to allow anyone to fall under 16 types of personalities.

Going by just 4 very simple questions for the indicator at http://www.myersbriggs.org/, most likely I fall under INTP which had this personality type:

Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical.

That is quite right I guess, although this test should be only about 75% accurate. So which type are you? And do you think your type is accurate?

Bored, frustrated, emo.

I finally realized what I need this blog for. For voicing myself when nobody seems to care or bothers to talk. I need some music to soothe my soul. I haven't sang for a very long time, it is one of the best avenues for me to release myself. Music to shake off those stress, those headaches, the tiredness, the feeling of on the verge of tears.

Music on now: (Not expecting everyone to be a fan of hers here, neither am I. But she's so gorgeous in this vid.)


Look around everywhere you turn is heartache
It's everywhere that you go (look around)
You try everything you can to escape
The pain of life that you know (life that you know)

When all else fails and you long to be
Something better than you are today
I know a place where you can get away
It's called a dance floor, and here's what it's for, so

Games Convention Asia (GCA) @ Suntec

While chatting with this girl on msn (okay, I won't mention your name here lol!), suddenly remembered that there was this Games Convention at Suntec, a week after Comex. Happy that I have an idea of where to go after work on Friday (Sg is damn boring), I trotted down there very eager to see what kinda games / competitions were on display.

Well, the event was kinda small to my dismay, and it was kinda quiet (you mean nobody goes for such things after work on a Friday??). The number of games being sold were also quite limited. There were the few online game providers, Asiasoft kinda left out of this one. Maybe they were already earning that much and didn't wanna spend any more on marketing events like these. Afterall, they already have quite a few of the most popular online games in town: Maple, Audi, WOW and what have you.

So the few there whom actually appeared were notably IAHgames which is pretty huge there. (I could tell their business is getting bigger, since initially they only started with Granado Espada, yet now they're providing so many other online games.) I remembered a few weeks ago, a new guy at my co mentioned he was from IAHgames. I had no idea why he actually came over. If it was me, I would probably stay at IAHgames, its much more fun!

Ok, so the usual stint for IAHgames is to create some "quest" for visitors to collect this and that. Why do I know that? I think 2 years ago I actually went alone to this Granado Espada official launch thingy. The only reasons why i did that were: I actually played GE when it was still F2P, and the creator was Hakku Kim, the same for Ragnarok Online. Later on, GE decided to be P2P, which lead to me leaving the game (don't really want to spend any money on any online games). Probably due to that, much of the population left the game, which led to them making the game F2P again. (Phew, long explanation.)

2 years back at that GE event at Zouk, there was this quest where you had to gather 2 or 3 friends to form a party to play. I tried to ask if I could participate even without a party, the answer was "no". I was thinking, how inflexible. =p But anyhow, this time during the GCA, I could play the game / quest! One thing that really kinda baffles me is that all the "Game Masters" were young girls, dressed up in their costumes cosplaying as the game characters. But where are the guys man? =.= C'mon IAH, not only guys play games ok? Well, not that I have anything against the girls, some are really nice (oh yah, so nice that I see a bunch of boys happily taking photos together with the girls lol! Can you blame em?) But I really disliked it when I get the "who the heck cares about you old bitch?" look from some of them. Sigh. So IAH, pleaseeeeeee..... next time, bring the guys who don't mind tending to ugly, old ladies like myself.... please! XD *hear my rant* Well, I nearly could bring that idea up to one of the old uncle staff (wearing normal office clothes, and looking suspiciously like a management from IAH), since he actually asked if I managed to collect all the quest stamps at each of the 4 stations. (Damned, maybe next time I could post this suggestion to them.) Talking about the "WHAT? ARE YOU SURE YOU GAME????!" look, I got kinda annoyed when this Sony Vaio Salesguy at Comex casted me that remark and dirty look while i was telling him my usual requirements for a Laptop. What? So girls can't game? What a look-down! He probably needs a female to trash his arse at some CS game or something. =p oops.

HighStreet5 were there too, lol! I won't mention names here, but it was quite fruitful because I got to saw 3 HS5 online friends. Yup, 2 gals, 1 guy. And it was quite eventful. There were 4 CPU stations for people to try out the game. After I've approached the guy to obtain the latest installation DVD for the game, I tried playing on 1 of the station (yes, it was that QUIET.) The character is very nice, yellow butterfly wings, which I'll never get in the game even if I continued playing, a hood and pole-dancing skills, lol! The condition of the keyboard was actually quite bad. But somehow, eventually i managed to top all the other players at the game stall. The guy standing next to me was very frustrated that he lost, initially I didn't notice him at all, until he was doing all sorts of big actions after losing (like wanting to tear his hair out, or stomping his feet?) Okay, eat your heart out red t-shirt boy, you still lost to me! Muahaha! (Oops, please don't mind my bragging here my dear friend. I will never be able to win you in HS5 hehe! You know who u are!).

I reinstalled the game last saturday afternoon and played awhile, but I was lagging so bad (dumb SN 1Mbps ADSL) and kept getting disconnected. Ironically, this other player in game introduced me to another dancing game: STEPS. Frustrated I couldn't play HS5 properly, I uninstalled it and downloaded STEPS. STEPS was only slightly better than HS5 in terms of the lag, but still lagging. The songs are quite limited, which I don't know if that is because I'm still like only level 2 in the game. The characters are much more anime-ish, and seem kinda like Audi, only much more like those Taiwanese flashy games.

So today, a friend told me how to resolve the lag problem in HS5. Should I uninstall STEPS and reinstall HS5 using that resolution to see if it works for me? =\ But then again, no more friends in that game to play with that its gonna be boringggg..... *shakes head*

I wanna be "TBAW"

Ouch! Naw.... don't want anything to be tearing up my heart! lol, new song added because Stella said my music is too rock for her! Ironically, my msn nick states "Emo, I need some rock." So there, a song from HighStreet5, but I chose an old song which I always enjoyed listening and singing my lungs out to, in the emo, "gek"-faced expression. Drama mama! =p Afternote: Wasn't able to upload the N'sync song! :( Hopefully can upload when I get home. The most probably "thing" that would cause me to tear my heart up now in my life would only be work and some sickening peeps in the office. Never fails to get me wondering, if I should do a dangerous move, such as quitting the job and start looking elsewhere without a backup.

So recently I've borrowed some books from SengKang Library. (Was there last Sunday for the Gundam Fair.) I have not done that for a really long time, and I managed to get a "self-help" book titled "The Bitch At Work". Hmm, interesting. Couldn't resist getting my hands on that book. Have only read up to page 93 of the book, and so far, the author had been giving some "rules" and "concepts" of being TBAW. In the book, she explained the definition of "Toxic Niceness". Which made me realize is something I must must must get rid of. Not that I do not enjoy being nice to anyone, but Toxic Niceness is actually a type of niceness to people, which makes it easy for them to walk all over you, and allows yourself to be taken advantage of by others. The author also taught about the "Inner Bitch" in every woman. The Inner Bitch is someone who knows what to say or do, or are just not afraid of expressing their unhappiness or anything that bothered them to anyone, ranging from bosses to husbands.

So, I've been wondering, where have my Inner Bitch gone to? I know I was one in my previous job (lol, I think some of the attachment boys can affirm to that. Miraculously, Mark who is 1 of my attachment boys actually told me recently that he has a nice Team Lead lady for a boss, someone as nice as me.) My previous boss definitely knows I was one. Somehow, sometimes I think he was glad I was one. Being a TBAW definitely has it's pros, sometimes it gets things moving. Instead of everyone just fakingly putting on a smile here and there and pretending nothing is wrong.

So why am I now someone plagued by the Toxic Niceness, instead of still being TBAW? What is here in this job that I'm afraid to voice my opinions and unhappiness? Is it the experience or the amount of time I have in this job? I probably feel I'm not "old-bird" enough to be saying anything. Or maybe I just don't care enough about the work here, that I can't even be bothered to be TBAW. Although, recently I do find myself trying to, and increasingly so, because the thing I hate the most is getting taken advantage of by others unwillingly. And being so unhappy that i always end up singing songs like JT's "What goes around comes around" now with even more heart and soul than I ever did, haha!

The book is interesting in the sense that the author gives alot of examples to explain some of her concepts. The examples are funny, and sometimes make me feel i'm just reading a storybook. But sometimes the examples can be too much, to the point that you'll be taking away the stories, instead of the concepts behind the stories. Anyways, I hope the book will teach me more about being in control of my work life, so that I don't always feel too unhappy. I know I need this book because many people have already been telling me so (yes, it must be that bad.) So til I've officially regained the title of TBAW! ;)

P.S. Never seen someone so excited to be a b***h before lol!

Fried Chicken, Cheesecake & Potato Cake

And so I was bored and started searching online for some PSP games to play on my way to and from work. PSP Pangya is quite a recent game and its got very good reviews online. The overall graphics also look too cute for me to pass up. So I managed to install it and got hooked! I'm still playing the story line mode, and I love it! The characters are sweet (Fried chicken, cheesecake & potato cake anyone?) and anime-ish. Even the "bad guys" in the story are too cool to dislike.

Maybe I'm just lousy, but I'm currently still stuck in Episode 2, character "Hana". Out of all the storymode characters, my favourite are still Cien and Kaz (Yes, I like cool bad guys with a very emo background story.) Cecilia and her "rounds" with the beer-bellied police uncle and Max are also interesting. Arin's crush on Max is so girlish =p but I really like the sweet happenings between the side characters (caddys like Quma and Tiki). Sometimes some stages can be quite frustrating, especially when you lose just by a little bit, and have to replay all 6 rounds of the contest.

So imagine my surprise when I found out a number of you are playing Pangya on PSP as well! (Yes, Xav and ZR!) =p Guess Singapore is too small and it is easy to find that your friends are doing the same things as you do. But then again, sometimes I feel quite embarrassed playing the game on the MRT on the way to work and back. I could feel cold stares, either from others who might be thinking "This woman is at what age? And still playing on PSP! Goodness!" or from guys who "Hey, that game looks interesting!". There was once I entered the MRT and moved right into the area linking 2 cabins together. I almost wanted to give that part of the train a nickname: "Mobile Gaming Area". Was giggling in my heart, because almost everyone standing in that area with their backs to the wall are playing on their PSPs or DS Lites.

God knows what happened to the online Pangya account which I had about 4 years back? No idea what happened to the online Pangya hosted by Asiasoft as well. (Maybe I can see some updates from Xav's blog.) I want to quickly finish playing Pangya (and know the story along the way) before I can start installing and playing DJ Max Black Square (due to the space constraints of the PSP memory card. But before that, I have to find out how to do that "cheater-bug" move of hole-in-one in Pangya!! XD

ZZZ, birdday & 6 stitches

I haven't been blogging as much as I would like again..... Don't know if it was just me trying to focus on enjoying more of my life besides work. Or just too many commitments / responsibilities, which totally sucked all the energy out of me haha!

Nowadays, I would feel so tired by as early as 9pm, and totally become a dead log throughout the night. Funny thing is, after all that, I still don't even feel recharged or refreshed. My weekend nights, woah, even more exaggerating. I can sleep for like 12 hours from midnight to 12pm the next day and still feel that sleep is not enough. Gosh, need some way to get rid of all these lethargic-ness before I actually sleep through my weekends every time. Funny how I used to feel that sleeping is a waste of my time in my younger days XD

Quite a number of happenings going on for the past month or so. Celebrated my "bird-day", by going to NTUC and shopping like an auntie for food. Then preparing the food for the BBQ in the afternoon, before BBQ-ing (at a cost of a table) with my family. Yeah, we were quite lucky that the table didn't caught fire. But there is an ugly black burnt gash on the table now, like part of "Deep Inferno" in Pangya. Thankfully, the table wasn't an expensive one, just a make-shift foldable table used outdoors.

Then, about 2 weeks ago, my grandmother woke up early on a Saturday morning, fell and hit her head against one of those tiled corners of the wall on the floor. She had a big big gash on her head, and was bleeding. I literally had a shock when suddenly I got woken up, and saw her crying in pain. It was quite serious, considering it involved a fall on the head and blood. So I drove her, my mum and my aunt to Tan Tock Seng Hospital's A&E immediately. Only 1 other person was allowed into the A&E area with my grandma, so the rest of us waited outside the ward. It was a long gruelling wait for more than 6 hours. She had 6 stitches on her head to sew up the wound, and she was brought to do some x-rays and scans. She looked really tired out when she got pushed out on the medical bed to another department to do the x-ray. My heart really went out to her :( moreover she's my grandma (whom I bear striking resemblance to in terms of looks and character) Thankfully, she is discharged from hospital already. In fact, this morning she had to go to a polyclinic to remove the stitches. I never want to go through that again and pray that she doesn't suffer so much, since she's already so old at 90 years of age. I hope she recovers soon and stays happy!

Teh Ghey Cabal Dance

Feeling a little cranky today... Hehe! (Maybe it's because its Friday?)
Suddenly thought of this Cabal Dance, which is one of my fave game clips LOL! I luv the first song~ Ding ding dong? XD

Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence

I remember hearing this song when I was very very young. Therefore, I never really knew the real title of this song. But I knew the tune so well, and for a period of time, I've been trying to find this original version of this "oriental"-sounding song.

I know it had been used in the techno song "Heart of Asia" as a backdrop. Now Utada Hikaru had also used it in one of her new songs in her album "This is the One". "Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence - FYI" was the title of Utada's version. I always wondered why this title? It drew some curiosity from me because my bro's name is in it. Then as always, I relied on Google to find what it really referred to. It's actually the name of a movie, from 1984. And the real original version of this song is by Ryuichi Sakamoto, who was also the one who composed the theme song to the movie "The Last Emperor".

Personally I've watched "The Last Emperor" before when I was very little and my parents brought me to the cinemas. I never really understood what the movie was about, I only knew that the male lead is literally the last emperor, but never knew all the political significance of someone like him. Hopefully now that I'm much older, I can understand all that dramatic emotion expressed in the movie. I remembered the theme song was quite emotional and dramatic, I would get goosebumps whenever I hear it. I get the exact same feeling when I listen to "Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence". But I only discovered recently, they were both composed by the same person, Ryuichi Sakamoto (I guess he's someone really famous.) A very talented and accomplished composer and pianist.

Thumbs up for Utada who did a cover using this song. She did the song proud, a very nice R&B version of the song. Probably the best cover using this song so far!

So I wanna share a vid of Ryuichi Sakamoto playing this song on the piano live. I love this version :) Enjoy~

Bro got married, 20th June.

Bro got married, sometimes I still can't believe it. Not that I have anything against my Sis-in-Law of course, but his character used to be one which can't really settle down for anything permanent. Or in other words: restless. Heh, I guess the existence of sis-in-law in his life also kinda made him much more settled. But anyways all is good, and I bet my grandma and mother are dying to have great-grandchildren. Hopefully my bro gets a child soon as well, so I can be an official "Auntie" haha!

I didn't really like the whole process of the wedding? I mean, the venues etc is great and glamorous (very much my bro's style.) But in terms of mingling with relatives, nah. Or maybe its their big big day so one tends to feel quite left out, especially for a sibling like myself. Or maybe I think it is very the troublesome to get married lah! XD So erm, here are some pics of my bro and sis-in-law on their wedding day to share! :) P.S. they are like some celebrity couple right? lol!

I like this pic the best, because it looks casual enough, unlike the usual type of wedding pics. No overly lovey dovey stuff. See the teddy bear on the stairs they always carry around with? That's a BigFoot Teddy which I bought for my bro during one of his birthdays a few years back. Later on, they actually got so hooked onto the teddy bear, that they bought alot more of their own! (They even bought clothes for the bears... o.O) But of cos, I will always think the original which I gave is the nicest of all (probably the one they used in their wedding pictures).

They used the BigFoot Teddy again, to be the official ringbearer during their wedding at Sis-in-Law's church. Mr Frodoooooo~~

Bro's car on wedding day. Seldom see his car like this XD.

The Mickey and Minnie mouse which I bought back from Japan last year for them at Tokyo Disneyland. Surprisingly, their wedding attire, color matches exactly! (Take a look at the next pic to check it out.) What a coincidence... only realised on that day itself.

See? Especially bro's grey suit right? Hurhur.... :)

Shifted. On 16th June.

So why have I been missing and away for soooooooo long? 1 big reason: I've shifted home. Thank goodness it is only a 1-time thing in like 12 years, and I don't think I will be shifting home again anytime soon. All the packing (or rather dumping things into boxes), and unpacking (the yucky part of it), the getting used to the new place, getting all the basic necessities for daily living, getting all the telephone, TV and internet up (my internet speed now sucks =.=), making sure all the basic things are settled and obtained.

Now I'm "supposedly" happier and feel "richer" since I'm living in a "private estate NEW house". But many-a-times, the opposite is true. Private estate? Haha, longer and further travelling & WALKING distance (not that I'm lazy to walk, I like walking, but usually when you wear heels for work, you wouldn't wanna walk very far, trust me. =p) bigger room to clean-up, vacuum, mop, bigger toilet to wash... etc. And then there's the new living with more people in the family. Previously I used to share a unit with my mum only. She's usually not home much, so I always get the whole place to myself. Now there's my Grandma, Aunt, Mum, Bro, Sis-in-Law and the maid. And mind you, they alllllll are not soft-speakers. My room is the closest to the living/dining room and main door. Plus their voice would resonate with the walls. LOL! Goodness. (*sobs* no more late sleeps til the sun reachs more than halfway through the sky.)

I'm so unused to the roads and facilities here. *Gasp* No more auntish-shopping after work at NTUC, or the 2-min walk to a MAC and Cinema where you can even get tickets for the latest Transformers movie during the opening weekend. I think I will rely on the TV and the internet more. Feel kinda cut-out from the world actually, but nowadays the travelling on MRT everyday for 0.5 Hour is actually opening up my eyes to alot of things I've been missing out on for the past 12 years. Er, let's just say the crowd at MRTs and on buses are very different.^^ The way they dress, the way they behave and hold themselves is just....... different.

I guess 1 good thing that comes with this shifting to new home is that, all of us can stay under 1 roof. Which is kinda my grandma's wish all along, to live in a house with all family members. Having a garden is my mum's wish all along though lol! For me, I'm glad that with the larger area, maybe I can rear a dog now (if NOBODY objects, which is gonna be quite a difficult situation.) But then again, SPCA is like just a 5 min-walk away from my place.... duh!

Anyone can recommend any nice places nearby, for a kopi, chitchat or drink? I think I don't even know where is the nearest Mac outlet. ^^;; (Potong Pasir? Serangoon Central? I'm at Bartley.) Bartley MRT station is one of the places I wouldn't wanna walk through too late into the night alone! It's so quiet, and I always end up being the last few people to alight from the train. Plus there are like construction workers hanging around finishing up the Bartley Christian Church. Ok, so that will influence me not to go home too late from now onwards. Btw, there's this house near my home, which I think is very very famous, it even has a name on its own. Its called Loshan Garden, sounds very cheena right? But it actually looks very angmoh-ish. I read a sign outside the house stating that the house is actually solar-powered!

Speaking about new places, there's a new shopping centre near my office "Orchard Central". I really like the sandwiches at Quiznos Subs (rival to Subway?). It's a nice place to slowly enjoy a meal and chit-chat with friends, and it gave me the kinda feeling like I'm somewhere out there (maybe US instead of Singapore?) Coolz! Hope I get to chill-out there again sometime soon.

So there, 1 of the big reasons why I've been missing for so long. Another one of the reasons coming up soon.... hopefully can get it posted tomorrow or something. ;)

P.S. I realized the tone of my writing has changed, to something more.... child-like...... ewww =x Don't know why it's become like this, maybe due to stress.

Happy Birthday Xavier!

Hope I got this right.... but its your Birthday today rite Xav?^^

Happy Birthday to you! Another year older, another year wiser! May all your hopes and wishes come true ;) Eat more Birthday Cake! (So that you can be what is mentioned in the last pic =p)

Wanted to email Bday e-cards to you but realise I don't have your email address. Couldn't post on your blog either! XD Have fun!

What do you call the 2-months MIA-ist, who has came back?

Wow, been a super duper long time since I've posted anything or logged into the internet...
Many many major changes in my life. (Which is quite scary, come to think of it.)
I probably need to do a recap of what had been happening so far.... ~_~ (feeling giddy already thinking about it). So here goes and bear with me....

Feels like imsomnia Part 2

Imsomnia again..... this has been going on quite often recently (I think every night? o.O) My eyes...... are dying......Help! >.< Btw, just noticed Wheesung's handsigns of LOVE are very cool ;p

Feels like imsomnia.....

Certainly feels like imsomnia for me........ yah I think I need someone to talk to. Sigh. *tries to force herself to sleep although feeling restless*

Gackt - Journey through the Decade

Gackt's newest single, "Journey through the Decade" is the theme opening song for Kamen Rider Decade. The song is rather nice, but frankly, the PV gave me the goosebumps. Like I was saying earlier on in another post, think he put on some weight? And looks older than before =x He walks around in the PV and stop for certain poses. What is really funny enough though, are the last few seconds when he raised his arms (while um chio-ing?!), making people having the impression he is gonna attack Decade, but threw him something instead. A Gackt card... haha, so that Decade can now transform into Gackt or have some abilities of his? LOL! XD

The young guy acting as Decade reminds me of a certain few boys.... apparently at some point of their lives (or at least only when I know and see them often), they look similar to this Japanese actor. His actions somehow look "toot" to me...for example, when he turned his head in the beginning of the PV, it looked a little bit odd and awkward (like he was wearing an invisible Decade mask already). Haha, but when I think about it, I guess it is suitable for someone acting as Decade. Btw, I never knew what was the story of Kamen Rider.... maybe can try watch the show. But I have to be done with some other anime / dramas that I'm watching nowadays first.

P.S. I think their clothes in this PV is really cool and stylo... ^__^ Nice coats & boots! But then again, I think I could stand the young guy's actions much more when he was in Decade armor. Nice power kick lol.

Friends, foes or just colleagues

Have you ever watched a drama/show, in which Person A warns Person B of Person C. Then Person B started being wary and suspicious of C's intentions and motives in every move or behaviour? I know I have. Especially recently.

Colleagues SL and LC warned me not to say too much during lunchtime, infront of our usual lunch kakis. Technically speaking, our lunch kakis are all from another team. Both our teams have our own "leaders" WL and IY. WL and IY actually both report to the same boss, our VP. They both may have their own political interests, although most of the time, it seems to me that WL and IY are on very good terms. They are so close that they can even share photo books of their own children.

According to SL and LC, whatever we say during lunchtime about work, will be "forwarded" from some of our lunch kakis to dunno who, and eventually reach the ears of our leader. Frankly speaking, whatever I say during lunch or any other time in the office to anyone, is the truth and my true feelings about that matter at that particular point of time. If it reaches any bosses' ears and I got questioned about it, then I feel "so be it". Why should I have to deny myself of my own feelings or what I feel? I don't think there is anything wrong with complaining / discussing about this or that. I admit I'm a complain queen, but if I got nothing to hide, why worry? If anyone else confronts me, I'll just say what I feel about the issue. I really don't understand what is wrong in doing so.

Perhaps it might offend certain people, but I think I've reached a point where I don't really care anymore. In terms of work, I should be more concerned and worried about myself, how I can get my KPIs done. Not about how others feel about me. Of cos, I'm not saying I should go around offending everyone in the office and making all sorts of enemies. And its not that I go to work everyday to simply work and not make friends. I think I just do not have the time and I'm too busy and tired to be worrying all day about offending this and that person. What's the point? If the person understands, then he/she understands me. Otherwise whatever I say or do, is moot.

So when SL and LC warned me about some of our lunch kakis, I asked them how did they know that people have been feeding back what we say/do during lunch to our boss? They just kept quiet. Ok, it might be because what was fed back to our boss are their own personal matters. Not about me, but about them. So they don't feel really comfortable about sharing this part with me. I do appreciate their kindness for warning me, just in case. When I asked for examples of these "feedback" happenings, I was not trying to prove them wrong. I was just trying to understand what kind of things do they feedback? To me, if they are just harmless facts or jokes, what is so wrong with that? Of cos, if they are malicious talk, which are really aimed at harming others, then yes we should be careful and avoid mixing around too much with such people.

The evening before, SL warned me about J. I told her that I would never expect J to do such a thing. Because to me, J is such a young girl and her character seems so carefree and open... (at least with me). They told me not to underestimate someone due to their age, J is a very observant person. So I have to be careful of my behaviour etc with her. J sits just outside my cubicle and I too know that she is a very observant girl. She can tell when I'm in an irritable mood, sad or talkative mood. All I can say is, I'm a very simple person to read. Emotions show so easily on my face. What can I do about it? Thats just in my character, that I don't hide my real emotions infront of others. I do what I feel like and if anyone is unhappy about it, so be it. I share my feelings easily, especially with people who I deemed as friends. J is able to observe me easily, but I am also able to observe her easily. I don't care even if she and the other lady outside chit-chats, or she surfs the net, chats on msn or reads the newspapers in the office. Why should I feel unhappy about that? Her boss and my boss are simply 2 different persons. If we can complete our own jobs on time and it is ok with our respective bosses, then what is the problem?

I told them the only incident I know of which J feedback to her leader IY, was that day in the office when my supervisor gave me a tongue-trashing. Comparing me with this and that person (who were old birds in the co), questioning why I do not know this and that. I felt I just do not know, simply because I can't memorise so many facts and figures. He accuses me of just doing my work blindly, when in actual fact I do know what I'm doing, it is just that there are so many things, I simply cannot remember to such details, and I would need to refer to my particular piece of work before I can answer anything. I was greatly affected by what he said because as my supervisor, his comments on my work performance mattered to me. I felt hurt because everyday I was working like a dog for at least 12 hours, pushing myself to my limits to complete tasks efficiently and to my best ability, and these unkind words were all I got back in return. There were no words of appreciation at all. Afterwhich of cos, I felt so disappointed that I couldn't control my tears in the office. I too know that it is unprofessional to cry in the office and it wasn't meant to make anyone sympathize with me. It was just so disappointing that as usual, my "tap" turned on by itself and couldn't stop. (Guess I'm a crybaby afterall.)

I went to the toilet, and hid in one of the cubicles to let out some tears. After this, naturally my face was all red, eyes were all swollen. And it happened to be our usual lunchtime then. So I took my wallet etc and wanted to make my way out for lunch with our usual kakis. IY and WL happened to walk pass me at this moment. Of cos they would have eyes to see that my face were all red, and it was so obvious that I had cried. I tried to turn my face away but I know I couldn't hide it completely, then I quickly walked to the toilet again to clean up. IY asked J what happened to me. J of cos knew what was the reason behind this incident because she knew I got a horrible scolding from my supervisor earlier. So she told IY why. (I will not know if J just said it for the sake of letting pple know the reason, or it was that IY was her boss, therefore she HAD to tell her the reason. There is a difference in "have to say" and "want to say".) This was the only incident I know of J telling others about me, which I do not blame her either because c'mon, everyone had eyes to see? Who can I blame? I just blamed myself for not being able to control my "tap". Frankly speaking, I don't really mind people knowing the reason. And so what if IY told WL (my team lead) that I had cried? That was what really happened and there is a reason for everything. If all is going so well and happy, then why would someone from her team be behaving like this? As a boss, she should be concerned why this is happening and how to resolve the issue so that everyone in her team is happy.

I really don't care if my boss thinks I'm a "problematic child" in the team by now. This could be due to IY always showing me concern and trying to provide guidance whenever possible. IY understands my problems and have probably been telling WL alot about me and the problems I face. IY had mentioned a few times to me, jokingly, that I should be in her team. Perhaps she would appreciate a staff like me. One man's food is another man's poison. If my boss thinks because she hears external people talking abt my problems so much, and therefore I'm a problematic one, then perhaps I'm simply not suited to be in her team working for her. Perhaps that is why, the supervisor who gave me a scolding will no longer be my supervisor a month from now. He probably heard it from IY that I broke down like a little girl/kid after hearing "just a few words" from him. He was upfront with me, he told me he was the one who suggested to WL that perhaps I should be under another supervisor because he simply does not know what I'm doing, and his scope of work now does not require someone of my expertise & abilities. Which is true, and I simply do not blame him for "dropping" me to another supervisor. I fully comprehend the rationale behind this move.

Anyway, back to J. SL was rather unhappy yesterday evening, when she asked if I wanted to go home but I told her I was joining J downstairs to see something. Yes SL had warned me of J, but to each his own. To me, when I had totally no friends in the office for the first 2 - 3 months, J was the only one who started talking to me and asking me out for lunch. It was all because of her, that I'm lucky to have such a nice big bunch of kakis to go for lunch with everyday. Had it not been for her generosity to ask me to join them, I think I would still be floating around here and there during lunchtime, without anyone to call a friend. I don't want to sound like I'm coming off as a smug, but I know deep inside how I treat J usually, and vice versa, I also know how she treats me. Maybe I'm just naive like that. I treat her wholeheartedly as a good friend. If she really is like how the others have warned, then I will only believe it when I see it with my own eyes. Sometimes I wonder if my naviety and "foolish" faith in certain things / people is getting the better of me.

When that point of time comes, then at least I could give a reasonable explanation to myself. I have tried to be impartial and gave people like her the benefit of the doubt. For now, there simply was no reason for me to doubt her as a friend.

Dancing Samurai: Gackpoid

While browsing online hobby websites, came across this Figma figurine which I've seen numerous times at Sunshine Plaza or the Hobby shop at Cineleisure. It looked so cute, but I never really bothered to find out what anime character it was. Was quite tempted to even buy it without knowing what character it was supposed to be. Finally I checked out the name of the figurine and wiki-ed it. Len Kagamine. The cute yellow-haired boy wearing that pair of earphones. And he's not an anime character, he's actually a Vocaloid character.

And what is a vocaloid you may ask? According to Wikipedia, Vocaloid is a singing synthesizer application software developed by Yamaha Corporation. The technology uses specially recorded vocals of voice actors and it enables users to synthesize singing by just typing in lyrics and melody. Wow how cool is that?!

Actually Len has a "twin sister" named Rin. Rin and Len were supposed to mean "Right" and "Left". Not too sure about electronically produced high-pitched japanese female voices, but I'm guessing Len's voice would be at least ok for me. Scrolled down to read on vocaloids in more detail.... and I realised there is a Gackt version vocaloid (at this point of time, I was like OMG, can't miss out on this one for nuts!) Kamui Gakupo 神威がくぽ is the vocaloid's stage name, and he is alternatively referred to as Gakupoid or Gackpoid. Popular manga author of "Berserk" was invited to design Gackpoid's character. I must say it ended up very nicely and appropriately done to fit both Vocaloid and Gackt's personality. He has long purple straight hair (some sort like Gackt's look in acting Uesugi Kenshin?) and carries a katana, which supposedly acts as a musical instrument. Refer to the pic below of Gackpoid on the official Vocaloid 2 website. Cool, very cool.... love the design!


The funny thing with these vocaloid characters, is that each is associated with a type of vegetable. As for Gackpoid, he is associated with a purple eggplant (I wonder which inspired which, the hair to the veg or the veg to the hair hehe =p)

Alot of times, doujins of vocaloid characters are drawn by fans. Even the music / songs fans have created using vocaloid, entirely belongs to the fans who did up the songs themselves! So imagine composing a song and getting Gackt's voice singing it..... o.O This whole thing really opens up alot of avenues and showcases so many wonderful music-making / fan-based drawing and media-creating.

Each vocaloid character have their own most famous songs, created by fans. And the most famous / popular song for Gackpoid is "Dancing Samurai". The tune is uber catchy, and the PVs created on Youtube are super silly and funny. Here's 2 different PV versions of the song "Dancing Samurai", the first one which is nicely created with some parodies and imitations of certain anime characters. (Can you spot them?) and the second one contains hilarious English translation of the song (makes the song alot cuter and funnier!)



I especially enjoy some original music created by talented people, which gave a whole new perspective on Gackt's voice to me. I like the way Gakupo's electronic voice was mixed with these electronic-romance sounding tunes! As compared to the real Gackt's voice, Gakupo sounded more soft and mellow. Kinda sound sweeter and less manly haha! (Don't know if Gackt would be happy to hear that.) Uploaded 3 Gackpoid songs I've found so far which I like very much and also the Dancing Samurai song. Enjoy~ :)

More pics of a fan-drawn Gakupo (*nose-bleeds from the ultra-low hipped pants*) and a Gakupo cosplayer:





















Need to update myself on the recent happenings of Gackt and his music soon..... Seems he had released some tribute album to the creater of Gundam (0079 - 0088) and the theme song to Kamen Rider "Journey through the decade". Oh and his face seemed to have grown alot rounder. o.O Maybe its his hairstyle....

Love you forever dearly....

Another warning: This post is full of choky emotions and maybe slightly religious-sensitive. Again, read at your own risk.

Last Thursday (16th), I woke up feeling slightly feverish... So I decided to take MC from work that day and made my work to see the doc at about 915am. By the time the visit was done, I think it was about maybe half an hour later. Knowing I wouldn't have any food to eat at home, I conveniently went to the NTUC nearby the clinic to buy some food.

Got stopped on the way by a guy who approached me to donate for a President's Charity Flag Day. I was in a rather good mood that day, so I decided to stop and donate. (Hmm, actually the guy is quite cute lah lol!) I reached out to take 1 "flag sticker", but that one got stuck on another sticker.... I ended up pulling 2 off the can at the same time! The donation guy kinda shrugged it off and said its ok if I took 2..... but I separated them and pasted 1 back on his can. Hey, afterall, 1 more sticker could mean more donation money coming in right? Every little bit counts.

At NTUC, I ended up getting raisin buns, Nutella and Pokka Blood Orange juice drink..... I know somehow, the idea of eating these 3 things at the same time is kinda weird^^ Then made my drive back home (managed to borrow vehicle that morning cos bro was flying off to Hong Kong.) Not long after I've reached home, my mum called me on my mobile and said my popo had left us. It was not unexpected, afterall she had been in and out of hospital so often nowadays. And the week before, my mum actually told the rest of my family, that popo most likely could not make it any longer. And that was gonna "clash" because my bro is getting married 2 months down the road.

As usual, I didn't know what to say to my mum when she told me that. She sounded ok over the phone, I guess it is because all her other siblings (my uncles n aunts) were there with her at the hospital. She was not alone.... and I kinda hope and pray popo managed to see all of them, was contented and happy enough before she passed on. I asked mum if they needed me to come over to the hospital but she just told me to stay at home. (Maybe she didn't want me to be reminded of that horrible hospital scene again after a 12-year break.) After hanging up the phone with my mum, (she said she will be staying on in the hospital with the rest to take care of all the after-matters), I went back to my room and soon started crying. I guess death is really something which will still hit me no matter how young I've started experiencing it. 12 years ago it was my Dad, and this was the second time in my life I've experienced the loss of another loved one. I'm sure nothing can really prepare me for this kinda happenings, unless I'm like way in my mid or old age and everyone I know starts to leave one-by-one.

I felt a little odd, probably from being stunned or shellshocked. And yet guilty at the same time for working and doing nothing but work all day long. I haven't seen popo since CNY, at that time, her health already seemed very weak. All of a sudden, her blood sugar level dropped drastically 2 weeks ago and she had to be sent to the hospital. The only thing which I was thankful for, were that actually my uncles, aunties and mum planned to visit Hainan island on Saturday. Therefore my uncle (who was the eldest son) and angmoh aunt-in-law actually came back to S'pore, before they embark on their planned trip to China. And precisely it was because of that, it was rather timely at least my popo passed on while they were around (my uncle could send her off properly). And it was comforting enough for me to know that popo left without much pain and suffering. She never woke up from the low blood sugar 2 weeks ago and on that fateful morning, her heartbeat just went slower and softer until it stopped.

The past week had been rather weird, somber, weak and yet helpless. Had to explain to my sickening boss and director that I could not attend some office event on Friday evening, because I had to rush to my grandmother's wake. My new co is so giam, give only 1 day of compassionate leave for demise of grandparents and yet I have to prove it with a copy of the death certificate. My previous co used to give us 3 days, without any questions asked, much less the copy. And I finally realised nobody in this new co gives a damn, or are generous / thoughtful enough to help collect "white gold" or made an effort to deliver flowers for popo's wake. This co sux in terms of the people, who were supposedly more educated, earns more money and much closer to being Singaporean since there were not many foreigners as staff. Sigh, the days of the wake were also filled with awkward-ness of having "long-time-no-see" people popping up, dirty-looks casted by outsiders when I could not write their chinese names on the attendance list and also feelings of unfairness when this and that relative didn't contribute much to the wake.

Bro who flew to Hong Kong for a biz trip that morning, was only able to reach back in SG on the last night of the wake. And due to the "pan tang-ness" (superstitiousness) of my family, he should not attend the final funeral procession because he's getting married in June. Since he wasn't able to make it for most of the days of the wake, he stayed on the final night from about 11pm to 5am. The latest I stayed on was about 2am, hope my grandma forgives me as I was not keen to stay out so late at the HDB void deck (there were quite alot of construction workers and young punks in that area in Woodlands.)

The procession day was an emotional one, which I didn't expect it to be. It was especially emotional during the final moments we were given to see her, before they close-up and seal the coffin. My uncles, aunties, mum and cousins who all seemed alright for the past few days finally showed their tears. Somehow I couldn't stop recalling my memories of her and grandfather while they were still alive, and how they took such great care of me when I was still a toddler. It was unbearable, and I too cried uncontrollably.

I tried to console myself further on reaching the burial site, by thinking that my grandfather's remains were also at the same Choa Chu Kang cemetery. We threw flowers and sand from the ground onto the coffin. It was my first time doing that and I certainly hope I won't get to do that again. The ceremony was very short and rushed (only half an hour) because the monk had to rush off to another ceremony on his schedule. Weird thing was, we never got to witness the entire coffin covered with sand. I wonder how good a job the casket people would have done, without us being there. True, the monk had to rush off but we could have stayed on longer just to make sure things went right, right? We met with another group of people who were gathered at just 2 spots away and gave each other polite kind nods to each other. Afterall, our loved ones were going to be "neighbours". I told myself that I had to buy one of those paper Mahjong sets / table which I could burn for her, because my popo loved playing mahjong, especially with her friends. Even though popo is not the grandmother who's living with me under the same roof, but nevertheless, still a grandmother to me and nothing less.

I will love and miss you dearly popo...... these flowers were dedicated to you, from the other half of our family.

Detriot Metal City, the Tetrapod Melon Tea

Erm, read at your own risk... =p There are actually F, P and C words in this post^^!

The first time I actually got to know about this show named "Detriot Metal City", was when I was at Kinokuniya at Liang Court many months ago. I think then the movie was just showing in Japan, there was a TV at Kino showing the trailer for the movie.

On first sight I thought the trailer looks very very funny and interesting lol! And somehow I got drawn to the storyline / background, mainly due to the "metal", "gothic", "cosplay" theme. After that, I tried to google for the movie, and realized it was spun off a manga / anime (why am I not surprised? haha!) Couldn't find the movie, so I settled for watching the anime online instead. Crunchyroll still had it then.... but I think they removed the streaming videos by now. (If anyone is interested, can go to anilinkz.com to watch it)

The anime is one of the most vulgar, yet funniest and amusing anime I've ever watched. I was cursing when I realised there were so few episodes and I had reached the end of the anime so soon. =\ Soichi is hilarious with his penis-shaped hairstyle, and when he sings his overly "sweet" "AMAI" song LOL! Krauser is so cool and funny, I think he is like the epic parody of all things metal and gothic. The middle-aged uncle who plays the masochist pig (buta) was kinda interesting in the story. But I love the Record President the most. Everytime she opens her gab to speak, its always that line... "F***! It made my c*** f***ing wet!". She's very cool and hilarious hahaha...


You know, even someone like me, who used to be so into these metal/rock/j-rock stuff wouldn't get offended by this anime, even though it is so satire. And that is where I think this anime really wins :) (Must recommend this anime/movie to my fellow rocker friends, think they'll flip over their chairs from all the jokes. Hee~) Comparing the movie and the anime, although the movie was funny as well with the "L" guy playing Soichi / Krauser, I think I still preferred the anime. Hmm I guess its because the jokes and laughter didn't take so long for me to react to *shrugs* Maybe I'm just too "stunned" after half a day at work to feel like laughing in the middle of a weekday haha! XD (omg has my life come down to this?)

Since DMC is so music-based, I've uploaded 3 songs which were my favourite from the OST. Satsugai (the chorus is too catchy), Fuckingham (the one will Jack Ill Dark) and one which was surprisingly electronic (Mesu Buta Koukyoukyoku 'Female Pig Symphony'). Actually the rest of the songs in the OST are nice too! But I think I'll spare everyone from having to listen to an entire metal album with vulgarities while reading my blog lol! =p (If you're really interested, I'll send the album over on msn ;) Just let me know!) Death Records Banzai~

Rojak + Lagged + Voice acting

Harlow, its been quite awhile since I've wrote in this blog again. Lotsa things to catch up on, which I will try to tell everything in one breath, so hang on and bear with me! >.< (which is why this post is titled "rojak + lagged".

Animes, animes, animes..... just finished watching quite a lot of animes these days. Started about a few weeks back, always having anime marathon during weekends. Either that, or I'll be having so many things which I have to do, but so little time. Animes which I've completed and my comments:

1) Fate Stay Night - Yes Xav, I have finally watched this! :p Hmm, I thought the main guy (Shiro) was quite a wimp... =x Overall, I found his "path" throughout the entire anime was "ouch this, ouch that" or trying too hard to be the tough guy when obviously he is not. I don't really get why he always puts himself infront when actually he can help the others alot more by staying away from being hurt and supporting them instead. (In this aspect, I will probably compare him to another character from another anime.)

Saber's really cool though, but I found the "love" between them to be either bitter-sweet, or not convincing enough for me. I still don't think Saber would have loved him and be in a relationship with him. (He seemed too childish?) The ending was a little sad though.... but I too think it would have been better for everyone this way.

2) ToraDora! - One of the funniest anime I have seen in a very long time. The characters are cute and likeable, the jokes are really hilarious, the storyline is fast enough for me (Can't really stand it when storylines keep repeating the same ol things over n over.)
My fave char in this series would have to be Ryuuji. He's such a nice sweet guy who is even willing to sew breast pads for Taiga. Now, how many guys would actually do that?! As compared to Shiro, I don't think Ryuuji is a "wimp" even when he does all the "auntie" things like household chores, looking out for cheap buys at the supermarket, cooking and taking care of the girls. It just feels so sincere, and I'm believe it actually takes more out of a guy to be gentlemanly and sweet, as compared to a role like Shiro's always wanting to act the tough cookie. I'll be soooo lucky if he's my bf!^^ Out of the rest of the characters, Taiga and Ami's roles were quite predictable. But Kitamura and Minorin's were more subtle and interesting to me. Although Minorin can be quite cranky sometimes, it seems to me that she is the most observant and perceptive. Even though the active, sporty people in animes always have shallower characters. Kitamura's story is also quite different from the usual, he's the vice-president for student council but he always has this fun / weird / crazy side to him as well. (Remember Episode 9? The most hilarious one where he appears almost naked!)

Still, like Fate Stay Night, I didn't have a good vibe when the anime was taking a turn towards the end. Where Ryuuji and Taiga inevitably falls in love with each other and end up being a couple. That was quite hard for me to swallow because Taiga looks too much like a xiao mei mei in the anime. If her char looked slightly more mature like Minorin or Ami's, it would have been much better. (Honey & Clover's Hagu also looks too much like a small kid for me to relate any romance to her.) I would have preferred Minorin to end up with Ryuuji, they obviously liked each other. If Minorin had not rejected him because of Taiga, probably they would end up really happy with each other. They both deserve each other because both are really nice people. But of cos, we all know that's not going to be the final pairing, because the anime title is such a no-brainer. Tora = Tiger, Dora = Dragon which obviously meant the 2 main leads.

3) Gundam 00 - This anime has finally come to an end...... but it only leaves the audience craving for more!!! (omg, this is neverending) Why? Because they had to announce that there will be a Gundam 00 movie releasing next year in 2010.

The ending was a good and nice one for me, I think it was cool that Ribbons and Setsuna destroyed each other's Gundam until they had to use the old ones. (lol, talk about being retro!). It was good to see everyone had a good ending eventually, even the guy who killed his own father. The wedding was hilarious (is this the first time I'm seeing anyone in Gundam actually going through a wedding ceremony? o.O) and it was nice how they made "clones" of Ribbons and Anew amongst the crowd during those speeches etc. Setsuna and Lockon continued being with Celestial Being, Tieria's body died but soul combined with Veda. Hallelujah and Marie went off on their own to spend some time together (seems like a peace-searching journey). Billy and Sumeragi ended up together (omg Billy, don't deny that you're so darn happy to be reunited with her! XD Okay, he was even smirking when Bushido appeared behind him.) There was no ending for Felt though..... I always thought someday she would end up being with the younger Lockon (but he had to like Anew this crazily instead. And she had to forget about the older Lockon when there's a total clone flocking around infront of her, that's really difficult.) Oh yah, Setsuna still seems like he ended up girl-less, but there were subtle-ness between Princess Marina and him alright. (1 of those couples where you just feel like banging their heads together and asking them to open their eyes wider.)

I actually prefer-ed the story of Gundam 00 to Gundam Seed because it was less dramatic and more realistic. But of cos, sometimes Gundam Seed really feeds the "emo" side very well^^ Gundam 00 reminds me more of those boyish-mecha cartoons/animes during my time, where they usually have like 4 to 5 members in the good guys' team. I just luv watching shows which emphasize on teamwork instead of 1-person "imba" reign over the rest. (Setsuna was the lead, but he didn't give off a super imbalanced, "immortal"-state as compared to Kira.)

After finishing these 3 animes, I'm kinda stuck on what other anime I should watch again. Maybe continue with Kuroshitsuji, or even La Corda D'Oro?? While stumbling on La Corda D'Oro again, came across the ending theme song "Crescendo" by "Stella Quintet". I thought Stella Quintet was some boyband from Japan. Until I searched youtube for a video of them. Turned out they were those voice actors for the anime, singing the ending theme song. I've uploaded this song into the music player^^

Guess what? Jun Fukuyama was one of the singers! Hehe, not bad, they could all sing quite well....
Maybe anime voice actors normally can sing well because they had to emote so much only from just using their voices.

Speaking of all these talented voice actors, stumbled upon this clip on youtube which I would like to share with you:



I'm sure many people are amazed by Miyano's voice acting of that evil laughter of Light in Deathnote. It almost seemed like their facial expressions were the same! Jun Fukuyama's voice always sounded different to me, although Kei's voice in Special A is quite similar to Lelouch's. And Ryoga's voice actor is so talented! He can voice all 3 characters, Ryoga, the guy in the china uniform and even the black pig! >.< I always knew Edward's voice actor was a lady, but I never thought she also voiced Nana!

I'm actually still quite taken aback, every time I come across finding out who had voice acted as who...... for example:
a) Azuma in La Corda = Shinobu in Junjou Romantica (yes, the gay anime where he plays a 18-year-old in love with his brother-in-law! Uh-oh, too much details?) = Kuran Kaname in Vampire Knight
b) Hihara in La Corda = Tidus in FFX = Pang De in Dynasty Warriors 5
c) Tsuchiura in La Corda = Hiroki in Junjou Romantica (fave char in JR, oops =x) = Rou Ensei in Saiunkoku Monogatari
d) Len Tsukimori in La Corda = Takahiro in Junjou Romantica (okay, the non-gay elder brother)
f) Senri Shiki in Vampire Knight = Hikaru in Ouran = Kira in Gundam Seed!!! (wow O.O)

So basically the song you've heard by Stella Quintet = Kuran Kaname, Tidus, Hiroki, Takahiro and Lelouch! (I'm sure there are more famous chars than Hiroki and Takahiro but thats the best I could associate them with anime characters I know... )



I get really reminded of Taiga's voice when I watch this:

Haha, "Baka-Chi!" =p Love the way she says that......

Found the whole list of Vampire Knight voice actors from crunchyroll: http://www.crunchyroll.com/group/Vampire_knight_foreva/pages/voiceactors4vampireknight
which is quite amazing...

I shall continue to blog on the DMC movie, and some Gundam stuff on the next post! :)

Maybe Tomorrow....... Love Today.

Just thought I'll share 2 songs with all of you today.

First song: "Maybe Tomorrow" by Stereophonics. It's a pretty old song which I've got a long time ago, happen to stumble upon it on youtube tonight and thought the lyrics pretty much describes me nowadays.

Second song: "Love Today" by Taja. An insert song in Gundam 00 season 1. Love the rhythm of the song, sounds like a heartbeat which is very ept for the song indeed.

Its funny how these 2 songs differ, one talks about tomorrow, one talks about today. One sings of the maybes tomorrow may bring, one sings of the love we learn today. Enjoy~

I've been down and
I'm wondering why
These little black clouds
Keep walking around
With me
With me

It wastes time
And I'd rather be high
Think I'll walk me outside
And buy a rainbow smile
But be free
They're all free

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

I look around at a beautiful life
Been the upperside of down
Been the inside of out
But we breathe
We breathe

I wanna breeze and an open mind
I wanna swim in the ocean
Wanna take my time for me
All me

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

Sayonara kotoba ja tsunageya shinai
(Farewell; we can't connect or anything with words)
Bokura no mirai ga hanareba nare ni arukidasu
(Our future will begin to walk, scattered)
Kimi to iu hikari ga utsushidashita
(The dreams that search for a place to go in a corner of my heart)
Kokoro no katasumi ikiba wo sagasu yume-tachi
(Reflected the light called "you")
LOVE FOR A DAY kotae ha kitto aruita ashiato no naka ni
(Love for a day: the answer is surely within the walking footprints)
Sumikitta sora wo miagete itoshisa wo kizamikomu
(I'll gaze up at the crystal clear sky and etch my beloved into it)

Tsuki mo naku kaze no tsuyoi yoru ni ha
(On a moonless, windy night,)
Nemurenai mama de amai genjitsu no yume wo daki
(I'll sleeplessly hold my dreams of a sweet reality)
Muriyari nobashita te mo tsukamenu
(A hand that I forcibly stretched out can't gasp it)
Tashikana mono nante kitto doko ni mo nai hazu
(I'm sure that something certain doesn't exist anywhere)
LOVE FOR A DAY hanayagu hi mo shizuka ni itamu yoru mo
(Love for a day: both the brilliant days and quietly hurting nights)
Kakusenai mune no oku no kizuato wo tokihanate
(Release the wounds deep in your breast that you can't hide)

LOVE TODAY kotae ha zutto minareta keshiki no naka ni
(Love today: the answer is surely within the scenery I've always been used to)
Hitokoto tatta hitokoto de kyou made ga kagayakidasu
(One word, with just one word, today will start to shine)

LOVE TODAY kotae ha kitto aruita ashiato no naka ni
(Love today: the answer is surely within the walking footprints)
Sou kimi ni tsutaetai kara kyou made ga kagayakidasu
(One word, with just one word, today will start to shine)

LOVE TODAY kotae ha kitto aruita ashiato no naka ni
(Love today: the answer is surely within the walking footprints)
Sou kimi ni tsutaetai kara kyou made ikita akashi
(Because I want to tell you that, it's the proof that I've lived up 'til today)

LOVE TODAY, LEARN TO LOVE TODAY
(Love today, learn to love today)