emo-ing about being emo.

Yesterday I was thinking, I actually forgot all about updating my blog. The one and only place where I can rant, emo, over-analyse about every little single detail or thing that had happened to me, and wouldn't get a reaction back telling me "You think too much" or "Why you always emo?", when they talk to me about the guy / gal they like or agonize themselves with the sickening people in their lives every single minute or second in the world themselves. (yeah wtf? selfish or wat? so they can rant and i can't? Look into the mirror first?)

Ok, so let's start off with this frustrating deadlock situation. I don't know if it is just me being too over-lively / friendly or i just give people the impression that i "talk cute" most of the time, but when i'm more quiet... or in other words, like how they describe it as "moody", they just automatically assume i'm being emo. This is dumb, moody does not mean emo to me. Wanna know what is emo for me? REAL emo is me crying.... yes, not when I'm more reserved / calm than usual, not when I'm just quieter or lonelier than usual, not when I get hostile / aggressive (now that is angry or pissed off). Guess everyone's definition and threshold levels of "emo" is different?

When it seems like I "think too much", i'm just analysing things... why bother? Because it is just in me, it is just in my blood... i'm a freaking data analyst for goodness's sakes. If I'm not someone who likes to analyse things, pull things apart bit by bit and think thru them, think about the reason why... then I shouldn't even be an analyst (think Sherlock Holmes. Yes, my job requires me to be super detailed and think / reason about every-little-thing.) It is just my character to. Now is that a crime? And it just happens to be that friends are for sharing, sharing of happy / sad / bad news.... sharing of thoughts is also considered as a form of sharing. If I don't see you as a friend, I wouldn't even bother sharing any of my thoughts with you. (Can't these people be more appreciative of the trust I have in them?)

So the next time, when a friend emos on you or seem to be emo-ing... don't be harsh. Allow him / her to emo and vent out their frustrations. Or would you rather they bottle-it-up inside them, with time ticking away to surprisingly explode on you sometime later on? Just let them emo out, and least of all, do not tell them "Don't EMO", unless your friend is someone like me, who can still calmly react back with a "Let me emo please." instead of a "you just dun fucking understand me, go away." Don't tell people not to emo, just because as a friend, you are not COMPETANT / BRAVE enough to face the music of consoling / handling your friend who is frustrated / sad, irregardless of the frequency of how often they do this. Just don't, just let them go with the flow of their emotions. For one, I know how sickeningly painful / depressing it is, to feel sad but not be able to express it out because people tend to shun emo / sad family / friends. The last thing you would want when you're sad, is to feel even sadder due to loneliness. And in a way, telling people not to sad / emo is as good as enforcing your own opinions and emotions on others (wtf?), which is rude.

It just reminds me of the old saying: "if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all." Wow what a start to the new year of 2010. No wonder I cried on the second last night of 2009 til my eyes got swollen for work on the last day of 2009.